I believe that people change. I believe every person has angels and demons living inside him or her, and it is in the person’s hand to choose which force is the dominant one. Of course, circumstances do affect us, but not everything can be blamed on them. If the want to, they can change.
But, only because you change, do your previous sins nullify? God forbid, you were the reason an innocent person killed himself. You might as well turn into the best person ever, but a life is lost. Does that ever come back? Are sins ever forgiven? I don’t know. As far as I’m concerned, I forgive most people. There’s a reason people tag me as “sensitive” – I get hurt easily, but I also forgive when I know the apology is sincere. I forgive, and forget. I let the past remain where it belongs, in the past.
But then came this one particular person who practically turned my life upside down. This isn’t my diary, so I won’t write down what he/she did. But no matter how much I try, I cannot forgive him/her. I swear, I have done everything to get closure but I can’t. I have come to the point where I don’t over think about it anymore, I don’t have nightmares or hate myself. And I am glad that I was strong enough to get through it. But the scars left will never completely disappear, they will never not hurt at all. And because of that reason, I cannot forgive him/her.
And I feel like an awful person with so much hatred inside of me. This isn’t me.
Well, here’s hoping he/she never ever does something like that to anyone again. Here’s hoping that one day I’ll find closure. Here’s hoping that people learn to forgive, including me, because it brings peace like none other.