2013 is about to end, and looking back I realized that this year of my life could be adapted into a movie. I experienced life in it’s truest, purest form. I cried myself to sleep, I laughed till my stomach hurt. I felt proud, I felt worthless. I felt loved, I felt hated.
I lived. I learned.
This year changed me. I am no longer the girl who was always so scared, so naive and so transparent. She’s gone. Instead there is a girl who knows how is stronger, who had her innocence stolen away, and how learnt how to put on a fake smile. Sometimes, I fail to recognize myself…this is not me. Or this is me, it was always me. I don’t know, I never will.
But it’s just not the same. My perspective of the world changed. I never thought anything wrong and unfair would happen to me – why would anyone hurt me, I was nice to people. But the reality dawned upon me this year. The world was never fair, it doesn’t follow the action – reaction laws and Karma is only a myth.
But I still believe in the world, I believe in us. Goodness isn’t extinct, only endangered. Or critically endangered. But we have hopes, we only have to keep the goodness safe inside our hearts, nurture it, grow it, and pass it on. One day, it will cherish again.
This year taught me a lot. It taught me how to be strong, but let go sometimes. It taught me to trust, to love, to care. The hardest but the most memorable year of my life. After all, it is the heat and the pressure that transforms coal into diamond. Hard times change people – sometimes for their good.