Trust is what I value the most…I need to trust people I love, otherwise it would be a shallow love. I need to know that I am safe with them, that I can let my guard down, that I can let them break the walls I have built around myself.
Trusting a person I barely knew saved me in all ways possible. And that trust only grows and flourishes over time, to give birth to the most sacred relationships – friendship. Every relationship that has trust and love is first and foremost a friendship. My brother, father, mother, sister, boyfriend, cousin…whoever. With trust and love, they became my friends. Friends that never give up on me, the ones that aren’t afraid to smack me back to me senses when I’m wrong, and the ones who would never, ever, betray me.
And as much as I trust others close to me, I hardly trust myself. I have negligible trust in myself, I don’t think I am half as strong as others, I don’t think I’m half as good as others. I made decisions that I regret, and I am afraid I will repeat them. So, I have stopped trusting myself.
I hope to learn how to trust myself again, like I learned to trust others.