Thought I wasn’t enough and I wasn’t so tough
Laying on the bathroom floor
We were living on a fault line
And I felt the fault was all mine
Couldn’t take it any more
By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other and I
Looked in the mirror and decided to stay
— By the Grace of God by Katy Perry (Prism)
Music, it can envelope a thousand emotions. This song by Katy Perry may not be vocally very tough, it may not be a masterpiece or it may not even be something very mind blowing. It’s an average song, but it gives me strength.
My bubble of a perfect life burst one, and I was tumbling downwards towards nothingness. After an eternity of self-destruction, I decided enough was enough. I was a 5 foot 2 inch girl, but my confidence and my esteem couldn’t be that low. I had to get back on my feet, I had to take charge and take control over my life once again. I had to show the sadistic universe and it’s inhabitants who the boss was.
I cannot claim to have reached self-actualization, nor can I claim to be perfect. I have my lows and doubts, but I know I stood with my head held up high when it was the hardest. It was difficult to walk in the darkness, but I like to think I danced my way through it…with all the highs and lows, with the jumps and falls.
Everyone has their own battles, something they are trying to cope with. I understand the pain, and I just want you guys to know that it gets better. Give yourself time, let yourself fall sometimes, but always get back up again. One day, you’ll realize, you don’t have to fake smiles anymore.
I also know it’s hard to trust a stranger, but just incase anyone needs to talk or vent out, feel free. Leave a comment and we can talk, (all the apps and ofcourse, emails can work too)
Stay Strong, and Believe in yourself.