A guide on how NOT to be a jerk

It’s official, the jerk virus has begun infecting human beings in a catastrophic manner. I see Jombies everywhere I go, and if you think you may be the next victim you’re at the right place. I have the vaccine and the cure to this virus. Welcome to my guide on how not to be a jerk. Hopefully the next few steps, practiced regularly, will protect you from the deadly virus.

  1. Learn not to a sarcastic little blabber mouth every moment of your existence. Honestly, we get it. Sarcasm is sometimes the best mechanism and defense but please, use this another way of communication called “nice” once in a while too.
  2. Stop pointing flaws out. Unless you know, the person is your best friend and you basically insult each other to convey love.
  3. Don’t rubbish opinions. You can have your opinions, and the other person can have his/hers that are completely contrasting to yours. Newsflash: it’s called human rights.
  4. You’re not as hot as the Gossip Girl cast, so I suggest you take all the time and energy wasted on rumors and gossip and do something worthwhile.
  5. Awwww, poor baby, your mommy didn’t buy you matching shoes with the dress? I know people are dying of starvation all around the world, but your tragedy breaks my heart. Stop whining. And also, this was sarcasm…or my attempt at it. Going back to point 1. You know how frustrating it is.
  6. Smile. Not all the time, we all have bad days. But trust me on this one, smiling might just make someone’s day beautiful. So the next time someone waves at you, instead so grunting, grin.
  7. Control the use of profanities. I’m a teen too, I get it. Sometimes there is literally no other way other than using some words we were shy to even hear as kids. But using a profanity in every sentence is not cool, it’s offensive.

There you have it, my easy 7-step list of how not to be a jerk. If you follow this prescription, the jerk virus will not touch your shadow. And unlike all other medicines, the only side effects are that of increase in happiness, care, respect and love.

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