Here is my unpopular opinion: Unconditional love does not exist. Well, as an eighteen year old dreamer, I would love to believe it does. I would love to have a love that will never fade, never break, that will survive all odds. I almost made myself believe it exists, really. But the harsh reality is, it doesn’t.
See, your parents for example. They seem to love us a lot. But how many of us can claim that our parents will be with us no matter what wrong we do? No matter how much we try to push them out of our lives? If I go and perhaps, scam them, they’re unlikely to love me unconditionally. My parents won’t look at me the same way.
If you go and cheat on your partner, or even say, hurt their pet, they will leave. Maybe it’s fair, maybe it’s not, but that’s just the way it is. People who say “I love you unconditionally” might just leave you the second you do something wrong in their perspective. Or they may just stop loving you, out of the blue. It happens more often than we would like to admit to ourselves. Their love is conditional, and it goes away.
Love has a number of conditions attached to it. It has the conditions of respect, trust, security, compassion, empathy, willingness to fight, patience. A number of noble virtues are conditions of love. And as much as we keep denying it, we all know it’s true. Love never was unconditional, love never will be unconditional.
And you know what? Maybe it’s just fine. Love doesn’t have to be unconditional to be real. It is okay to love people with conditions attached, because after all that’s what defines a relationship. If there were no rules, no norms, there would be wretched souls stuck in awful relationships everywhere. There would be no inner satisfaction or peace, because we would be forced to love people no matter what. We’d be forced to love that abusive brother and alcoholic mother. There would be no escape from the nightmare.