I hope you never figure out your life

Do you guys remember that one time, that one time that you had your entire life figured out and you were content and happy and at peace?

Yeah, me neither.

You know why? Because there is no point in life where you’ll have nothing, absolutely nothing to worry about. Wait, before you click the unfollow button, let me explain myself.

There will always be life issues. You’ll always worry about things. Sometimes they’ll be as small as whether or not the barista is going to give you your coffee at just the right temperature, and other times they’ll be about things like losing a loved one or being kicked out of your job as a pair of twins are on their way into the world. There will always be troubles, little things tugging at your sleeves, nudging you time and again. From the moment you wake up, till you fall sleep (and often manifesting themselves in your dreams), stuff will never leave your side.

But remember, that doesn’t mean you won’t be happy. You can still wear a smile, through the better days or worse. Yes maybe you missed that train to work but so what? Smile. Remind yourself to set another alarm because apparently six alarms just don’t cut it for you to wake up. And then, wait for the next train. And then maybe you go through your first heartbreak. You know what? Cry your heart out and cuss and watch rom-coms with your friends and sneak out of the house to get that person out of your mind and hook up with some random stranger you find at a pub that you got into using a fake ID to start with to feel numb again and then, finally, begin to heal. However, in the middle of all of this craziness, you’ll have your share of happiness and that is what you will need to hold on to.

And you won’t be content with your constant issues in life. Maybe it’s for the best. The day everything is okay, just fine, you will stop pushing. You will stop working on yourself, your surroundings. You will grow lazy and satisfied with the sheer nothingness of life. You will stop dreaming and you will seize to be ambitious. You will no longer be excited about waking up on a random day or mark a date on your calendar simply because there is nothing makes you look forward to something. There is just nothing left to feel or do or learn or think. And that is, perhaps, a fate worse than constant troubles.

So you know what? Be grateful you never knew the moment I asked you about. And I hope you never feel the kind of stagnation, I hope that your life is full of boredom and excitement, of love and hate, of sorrow and joy, and everything in between. I hope you never get your life together until a few seconds before your death, when you look back and realise that this is exactly how you liked it to start with; the life that was messy and difficult, even torturous to live through. And maybe, a second before you die, you’ll realise that this inability of figuring out life is what life is all about.

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