Matters of love and life

It is supposed to be an easy, fairytale kind of love. But that’s the thing. Disney doesn’t tell us what happens after Prince Charming and Cinderella fall in love and get married. They don’t tell us if Cinderella needs him around all the time and that threatens his personal space, causing him to get distant. They don’t tell us if Prince Charming’s chivalry pisses Cinderella off after a few magical weeks. They don’t tell us what happens when they both grow old and get ugly and one gets cancer or when they have kids and it makes them so busy that they lose each other.

And that’s the thing. Sometimes there is love, but love isn’t enough.

Yes, love should be the foundation of all relationships – romantic or platonic. But love alone cannot sustain it. There are so many things, big things, little things, otherwise ignored things, that go into making and growing of a relationship. You can be madly, deeply in love with someone, but every single time you fight over something, however stupid it may be, a part of your relationship cracks.

Because now it’s awkward. You know he doesn’t like your taste in music and she doesn’t like the food you cook. So you avoid playing your music and signing out aloud in the car when you feel happy, and you avoid making the dish that you and your mother always cooked together when you miss her a little. And it makes you resent the person next to you.

And the thing is – that is not okay. Nobody should stop you from being who you are and doing what you love and believing in what you do. Yes, you won’t always be in sync. But you need to make sure you are more happy than sad in a relationship. And the moment it’s the vice versa, question everything.

Question why you are with a person who makes you cry to sleep and where it all went wrong. Wonder if you can fix it, and if it’s worth the effort. Think about yourself and the person you’re in love it, and whether it’s fair to them to keep going with this relationship when nothing is going right except the occasional bout of smiles.

The answer isn’t always ending things. The answer isn’t always getting married. The answer can be anything, anything at all in the realm of possibility. And when you know the answer, don’t be afraid to go after it.

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