Days

Day 1: She threw her phone on the floor and herself on the bed. Her phone screen cracked, as did her heart.

Day 2: Smudged eye liner and messy bun. College. Class. Home. Ice cream in bed. It seemed like the universe was playing games against her, that there was nothing but darkness left.

Day 3: More messy buns and more ice cream, this time with friends. She sat with her best friend and spoke her heart out and ignored the knot in her stomach.

Day 5: She got a call. She fought and he fought and gave her new wounds to heal. She is torn and lost and doesn’t know what is right and wrong anymore.

Day 8: Mornings are awful but she sees her friends at college and they make her smile. A little. Her eye liner is getting better and her hair smell of lavender. He loved the scent.

Day 9: Twitter and Instagram are her fortresses. She scolds herself while stalking her ex and finds fresh tears rolling down her cheek once again.

Day 10: She re-reads the conversations and thinks about all the ways this could have been prevented and wonders what is wrong with her. Something must be terribly wrong with her to deserve this.

Day 12: She feels pressure. Exams. She forgets about their anniversary too.

Day 13: She remembers it was their anniversary and wonders if he remembered and if he missed her. Probably not. Always bad with dates, that one. She smiles as she remembers the little details.

Day 15: It wasn’t her fault, she tells herself. It wasn’t her who caused this and she was loyal and she was caring and she would have gone back in time and changed things if she could have, but she cannot. So she has to move on, she tells herself.

Day 16: But she won’t ever love another one. She really loved him. She really loves him.

Day 19: Her friends tell her things and she doesn’t know what to do. She should be fine. She looks fine. Eye liner on fleek and hair flowing but she has an emptiness inside of her that doesn’t go away. Something is wrong with her, she thinks. She’s broken.

Day 20: But she will heal, she has to. He’s going out and meeting people and she should too.

Day 24: But she cannot. She looks in the mirror at herself. Red lips and red eyes. A hundred more days, and she’ll try again.

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