What my LDR taught me

For the uninitiated, LDR means a long distance relationship. And yes, I was in one. It didn’t work out, which is obvious from the use of past tense in the previous sentence. I’m not here to play the blame game. I’ve done it plenty. Today, leaving all my grudges and anger aside, I’m going to try and look at everything that 2+ years of LDR taught me.

  1. “Distance makes the heart fonder” is false. There is nothing about the distance that made me love him more. My love for him didn’t magnify with the ocean sitting stubbornly between us. It made me miss him, it made me wish upon shooting stars and wait for 11:11 every day and night, but I don’t think my love increased solely because of the distance. My love for him was beyond any external influences, including distance.
  2. Out of sight, out of mind” is false. Even as we were miles and time zones apart, not once did it occur to me to give up on the person I cared about the most. Not once did I even consider changing my mind, or about giving up because being in a relationship where one’s early morning was others’ middle of the night was too challenging. Never did I let the inability of ours to kiss come in the middle of the pure magic we shared.
  3. Faith in the other. There were times when I, or him, felt insecure about the relationship. We were both, after all, young people and had a social life. The thought of infidelity or just simply the other losing interest was enough to send shivers down our spine. But with the aforementioned ocean between us, we couldn’t track the other every minute of the day (which by the way, isn’t healthy even if you can do it). That’s when I understood that having faith over the one you love is what will give you peace of mind.
  4. Ignoring the doubters. There were multiple people in my life (and I assume, in his) who did not like this relationship. It was unconventional, and there were easier, more lucrative options available for both of us. People were sometimes subtle and sometimes blunt in telling me I was wasting away my time. It bothered me sometimes, but I figured out that listening to people talk about the person who they didn’t even know existed before I mentioned their name was pointless. Nobody knows you and your loved one besides your immediate family and friends, and even they can be wrong. Don’t go with the flow of what the society wants you to do, ever.
  5. Little things matter the most. When you are unable to hang out or have dinner together, those random texts in the middle of the night gain more stature than ever before. I had the habit of sending letters and emails, or just tagging him on twitter and making the world jealous with our cheesy-ness. There was nothing more sweet than him calling me up to just say ‘I love you’, and there was nothing more annoying than having to talk to a drunk football fan whose team lost. But the little things, in the end, either break you apart or make you invincible.
  6. It’s just like any other relationship. Really, there are very little differences in the holistic sense. We fought over the dress (yes, that golden or blue dress) and we fought over trust issues and boundaries. We had the most common fights and the most aberrant fights. The world may think LDRs are alien in nature, but really, they just involve a little more of everything any other kind of relationship demands.

And that’s that. In the end, both of us were left with broken hearts and scattered souls but the ending was perhaps inevitable. The distance’s existence didn’t contribute to the end, I am sure of that. People have the most meaningful relationships across the globe, while others living together may end up only getting hurt. The outcome of your relationship can best be predicted by you, and you only. So don’t be afraid to do whatever it takes to protect someone, or something you believe in with all your heart.

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