About turning 20

The exact moment I was born, I spent napping today. I honestly cannot think of a better way to spend that precious time.

Nah, I had plans. I’m just consoling myself for the kind of lame life I lead. It’s not as fun as my social media might lead you to believe. But a girl’s gotta keep up her game.

So, 20 entire years ago, as in 2 decades ago, I almost managed to kill my mother and myself in the process of being born. Maybe I was a lazy baby as well, but I was in a breech position and did it help us in the end? Nope. Damn, fetus me, you had one job.

Anyhoo, I was born and my mother survived as well (yay, medical science) and today I celebrate existing for 20 years. I don’t know how exactly I managed that, given the fact that I’ve had malaria, dengue, typhoid, fractures, ligament tears and spinal injuries, along with a weird af virus attack that my doctor is still trying to figure out. Not to mention the floods and the bomb blasts and the reckless drivers in India. It’s a minor miracle, as I have been stressing for the day. I deserve to celebrate this.

Today has been…decent. Some moment made me smile wide, like the entire class singing happy birthday to me. Wait, no, that was embarrassing. And then there were certain people *cough* my ex *cough* who low-key insulted me while wishing me. I don’t think he realised what his words meant, in all honesty, but I woke up to it and it made me mad for about 2.3 minutes. I came home after some canceled plans and a taxi strike in the city made travel eh, but the pasta was well worth it. And then, as aforementioned, I took a nice nap. It felt good.

Now that I have less than six hours before it’s just another day and someone else’s birthday, I have some reflection to do. Some people I expected to be excited and just be there weren’t, while others were surprisingly sweet and loving. And this is what makes me rethink everything I assume. Because some people aren’t meant to stay close forever, while others are part of your life. And as much as it hurt me to see them not care as much, for whatever reason, I came to accept it.

Because in 20 years (and that’s a long time, okay? I’m basically ancient) I’ve learned that not all people you care about are going to stay forever. Infact, very few will. Some come to show you what happiness feels like, the others to show you the people you must stay away from. Some feel like the gentle breeze and the others like raging storms. Some will have you thinking about them in the middle of the night and the others you’ll struggle to remember. That’s okay. In the end, all you have is the memories that make you the person you are.

And so, today, I decide to finally try and let go. To not cling onto people who are distant, and to not space away from those still here for me. To take life as it comes, and most definitely appreciate naps more.

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